Saturday, February 28, 2009

Don't ask


I've been invited to attend yet another friend's wedding ceremony dinner. While I am all for celebrating my best buddy's most joyous occasion of his life, I dread having to spend an entire evening seated at a table amongst strangers and old acquaintances whom I have not bothered to keep in touch with and vice versa. And since I don't drink, I don't have the luxury of having alcohol to soften the agony of boredom. And then there is the question that all singletons abhor getting at such occasions.

Yes, THE question.

"When is it your turn to get married?"

Gee, I didn't know I had taken a number and joined the line to queue up for my shot at matrimonial bliss. And I think that the person asking is often not that innocent, as he/she is usually implying that since others have succeeded in snagging their life partner, I have somehow failed at one of life's most important tasks.

To add salt to injury, they go on to justify their enquiry by saying, "...you're not getting any younger you know," and smile ever so sweetly, pretty much like how Cruella De Ville would smile when she's pleased with the slaughter of dalmations for her next fur coat.

To which I would answer (had I had the gall, of course),

"Well, you're not getting any younger yourself. So, when is it your turn... to die?"

I am so damned to hell. Mwuahahahaha

Friday, February 27, 2009

Holding Hands

A young Singaporean couple came in this morning for their regular checkup and cleaning. The poor girl was so scared that she insisted her boyfriend stand right next to her and hold her hand while I clean her teeth. You could see the fear and anxiety in her eyes and fidgety body language.

Oh boy.... part of me was touched and filled with all the 'awww...' type of feeling inside, while another part of me was fighting the urge to roll my eyes upwards till it disappears into my skull forever.

The cynical part of me won.

Monday, February 09, 2009

If there's a camel up a hill then it's Gong Li with me when I do

You guys have got to check this one out. Korean Idol wannabe records his version of Mariah Carey's Touch My Body in a way that only his mother (and perhaps Bee Gees in a windy interview) would love. Enjoy!



Here's the actual lyrics to the song for comparison.

I know that you've been waiting for it
I'm waiting too
In my imagination I'd be all up on you
I know you got that fever for me
Hundred and two
And boy I know I feel the same
My temperature's through the roof

If there's a camera up in here
Then it's gonna leave with me
When I do (I do)
If there's a camera up in here
Then I'd best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
'Cuz if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
'Cuz they be all up in my business
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I

Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you like my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.

Boy you can put me on you
Like a brand new white tee
I'll hug your body tighter
Than my favorite jeans
I want you to caress me
Like a tropical breeze
And float away with you
In the Caribbean Sea

If there's a camera up in here
Then it's gonna leave with me
When I do (I do)
If there's a camera up in here

Then I'd best not catch this flick
On YouTube (YouTube)
'Cuz if you run your mouth and brag
About this secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
'Cuz they be all up in my business
Like a Wendy interview
But this is private
Between you and I

Touch my body
Put me on the floor
Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel
Like you never did.
Touch my body
Let me wrap my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body
Know you like my curves
Come on and give me what I deserve
And touch my body.

I'm a treat you like a teddy bear
You won't wanna go nowhere
In the life of luxury
Baby just turn to me
You won't want for nothing boy(Nooo)
I will give you plenty joy

Touch my body
Put me on the floor (throw me on the floor) Wrestle me around
Play with me some more
Touch my body
Throw me on the bed
I just wanna make you feel Like you never did.
Touch my body

Let me wrap my thighs (let me wrap my thighs, around your waist for just a little taste)
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Touch my body

Know you like my curves (I know you like it)
Come on and give me what I deserve (Give me what I deserve babe)
And touch my body.....