Tuesday, February 20, 2007

"When are you getting married ah?"

Top Ten answers to that annoying relative's interrogation efforts during Chinese New Year gathering.

Drumroll please......

10. "I did. And you didn't even have the courtesy to show up at my wedding! Hummph!" and then walk away.

9. "I cannot, aunty, I just joined Opus Dei and if I get married, I will have to flog myself everyday to rid myself of the lust I have for my wife."

8. "I am saving myself for your daughter in six years time...." and pointing to her twelve year old princess.

7. "I'm saving myself for you.... I have been secretly in love with you since I first saw you at cousin Jen's full moon ceremony.... I heard uncle is dying of cancer right?"

6."You talking to me?...... Are you talking to me?......"

5."Aiyoh aunty, I am only eighteen years old* leh.... not yet legally an adult how to get married?"

4. Three words:"I AM GAY".**

3. "But, I am married.... And this is my wife, SO-and-so...." and points to a non-existant person beside you, smiling proudly.

2. "Sob... Sob..... We recently broke up..... The love of my life left me for another man/woman!" and then cry inconsolably.

And the #1 answer to the question: "When are you getting married ah?" is....

"When are you going to die ah?"***

*regardless of your actual age. And must only be said when one's Botox treatment is still in effect.

**whether it's true or not, this always shuts them up. For good.

*** Oh come on! This thought has come across your mind too. Admit it!


OiNK!! said...

ha ha ha its good to know that there are others like you who get the same question I get every CNY.

fakawitribe said...

How about this one:

11) I can't..Not qualified. I failed my Kursus perkhawinan* for the 8th time.

* Kursus perkhawinan = marriage course. Applies to Malaysians only..