Tuesday, July 24, 2007

The break-up

I've recently received news that two very good friends of mine have decided to break up after a four year relationship. Being a hopeless romantic, I felt very sad for them, primarily because this (ex-)couple was an inspiration to me. They gave me hope that it is very possible for a relationship to sustain, and even flourish despite the odds.

I suppose I am rather naive in that sense. I grew up in an environment where people meet, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after; indeed, up till I was twenty five, I knew of no one who was divorced or had family members who were. Then, like a veil lifted from my eyes, love suddenly seemed impotent as couples I knew of started failing, either breaking up or embattled in bitter divorces.

And in that messy fog of love and heartache shone Teddy and Kris like a lone lighthouse shining out onto a bitter sea. For four years, they were a beacon of love, prevailing under the harshest conditions that the vagaries of love could throw at them. Unwanted attention by third parties, commitment anxieties, career upheavals and unacceptance by family members; they've gone through it all. And came out stronger and seemed even more in love with each other.

Then came the final challenge. Ted was to be transferred to a foreign country for a three year stint. They both knew that this would be in the cards eventually, and as such, were ready for it when the offer finally came. Soon, cross continental flights were arranged and taken, long holidays were spent in Europe and the US, and bittersweet sessions of telephone conversations were had in the long months in between.

Everything seemed fine or so I thought. After months of speculation and miscommunication, they decided to have a final heart to heart talk which resulted in a mutual break. Goodbyes were said, and tears of sadness (and relief) were shed on both sides. As I heard about it from Teddy, I could sense that even though he was putting a brave face about it, he was quite torn up inside as he kept blaming himself for not having done enough to save the relationship and regretful about the things he didn't say.

Here was a relationship that started out so improbable, both parties not looking, and yet, despite all the odds, came together and grew stronger each day. Then, just as things were looking up, the pressures of a long distance relationship began to gnaw at its very foundation. The protracted intervals in between didn't help things and finally, the introduction of a third party was the straw that broke the camel's back.

In the end, I know that they still do love each other, even when their relationship had been an unlikely one.


Friggindildo said...

"The hardest thing to govern is the heart."

Queen Elizabeth

Asther said...

Long distance relationship is always hard to keep & sustain.